alco-haul: flavored whiskey taste test

alcohaul

as you know, the holiday season is in full swing. (last minute) gift purchases need to be made. if you’re like me, you tend to give everyone a bottles of liquor as gifts. i really should think a little bit more into gift giving but i’m a natural procrastinator. i never have been a big fan of flavored whiskey (more of a whiskey and coke, straight or old-fashioned type of gal) but i figure i’ll give it a shot.

liquor. quick. easy. gets the job done.

disclaimer: before i begin, i am in no way an expert. these thoughts and opinions are my own and you can take them or not. i won’t be offended. but if you’re shopping around for a new bottle to buy, feel free to take these into consideration. lets get started!

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Watkins Select: Cherry Flavored Whiskey:

What drew me to this bottle was the packaging. I am a sucker for good product packaging. I love a good, clean yet vintage look to it. Plus, cherry is my favorite flavor. Lets hope this tastes as good as I hope.

Scent: Imagine a mini cherry dum-dum lollipop with a kick. An adult cherry lollipop. It’s kind of difficult to get a wiff of the cherry flavoring. It’s more whiskey, for sure, but you get hints of cherry if you take in a deep inhalation.

Taste: Strong aftertaste of cherry. When I first took a taste, I imagine this is what cherry coke and whiskey would taste like. It definitely has a kick and it’s not very smooth down the hatch. In fact, my throat is still burning a little as I type this. Tastes like: cherry ICEE with liquor. Whiskey with cherry coke. It’s strong and sweet. So if you don’t get headaches with sweet liquor easily, I can see this one being an option.

 

Watkins Select: Maple Flavored Whiskey:

Like the cherry above, the packaging is what caught my eye. I like how Watkins has a clean yet vintage design. It slightly reminds me of an old-time apothecary. I liked the all brown coloring with that pop of color from the bright red maple leaf. I’m not really sure how I feel about this one yet. When I hear “maple”, I think of pancakes. I don’t really want my pancakes and whiskey to have a relationship but we’ll see how this plays out.

Scent: Whoa. Definitely smells like syrup. I don’t smell as much of a whiskey kick as I did from the cherry flavored above. This scent makes me want to pour it all over my pancakes for brunch. Smells sweet and sticky.

Taste: I don’t know how to politely put this but… I dislike this. A lot. I probably f’in hate it.Once again, this is just my personal opinion but I felt like I was drinking a bottle of maple syrup that left a strong, harsh taste in my throat. It’s painful to swallow and drink. Definitely not a flavor I will be purchasing. Sorry, maple.

 

Jim Beam Honey:

Disclosure: I think Mila Kunis is hot. I’m a straight woman but I can give compliments where it’s due. She’s gorgeous and I would most likely purchase a stick off a tree if she told me to. So when she became the face of Jim Beam, I thought “Well played, Jim Beam. Well played. I’ll purchase.” On another note, I’m allergic to bees and am pretty terrified of anything honey related. Just the honeycomb on the packaging gives me shivers. So, give me a pat on the back for even trying this.

Scent: Smells like pure bourbon. Not a lot of honey notes. Maybe my scent is permanently scarred from the maple whiskey above but I’m not smelling any honey in here.

Taste: This is sweet. Really damn sweet. I coughed as I tried to swallow it, to be honest. I definitely taste the honey now which is kind of creeping me out at the same time. It’s hard to describe this taste to be honest because it’s just so damn sweet. The aftertaste isn’t harsh but I feel like I just ate an Eggo drenched in honey and maple syrup. Have you ever put honey on a sweet bakery pastry? That’s what this tastes like. I would need a lot of ice cubes to water this baby down. Not feeling it.

 

Jack Daniels Tennessee Fire:

Why the f— did I buy five liquors? My goodness. I’m barely on #4 and I want to throw in the towel. ANYWAYS. I purchased Tennessee Fire because I love cinnamon gum like Big Red. I haven’t been one to jump on the cinnamon/fireball liquor kick yet but we all gotta start somewhere. (Is the room spinning or is that just me?) Moving on…

Scent: Aah, the memories. This certainly smells like Big Red gum. I’m immediately transported to a time when my mom used to give me Big Red from her purse as a kid. I don’t know how bad it is to associate all this together: gum, kids, liquor (sorry, Mom). What I mean is… it smells damn good. Definitely smells like cinnamon, spice and everything nice. Smells like the holidays in a bottle. I really want to like this.

Taste: Holy shit. It has a spicy kick. Very spicy and sweet. Definite cinnamon gum vibes happening now. Imagine chewing the whole pack of gum at once and this is what it tastes like. It’s surprisingly smooth down your throat but I don’t think this should be a substitute for cinnamon toothpaste. (What the f— am I talking about? I think all this taste testing is getting to me.) It’s good. Surprisingly good. With some Coke or ice, I think it would be a nice drink to enjoy slowly. I wouldn’t suggest taking shots or drinking quickly because I do see a headache in your future if you take that approach. Great liquor to drink SLOWLY. I’ll purchase.

 

Crown Royal Vanilla:

I like the smell of vanilla but too much gives me a headache. Maybe I’m getting a headache from the four liquors above but all I know is a headache is present and happening. Oh god, let me get on with it…

Scent: Smells like a faint vanilla candle that I probably wouldn’t purchase because it didn’t smell vanilla-enough. Definitely inhaling more bourbon than anything. Getting small hints of vanilla but not enough to make me yack.

Taste: I hate it. Its like a vanilla candle fell in my liquor or someone put vanilla bean in my whiskey. The two are like a bad relationship – great separately but terrible together.

 

I need to stop. The room is spinning and I’m sure I stopped making sense quite some time ago. All in all, the only two I would purchase is Watkins Cherry and Tennessee Fire. If anyone wants to purchase me one of these, I won’t fight you.

xx Josephine

 

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